After a breakup, you can feel completely destroyed. You may feel alone and be very upset over what has happened. The trick is not to give in to these negative emotions. Staying positive will do you a lot of good. If you truly believe that the relationship can be salvaged, the followig tips may be able to help you.
The first tip I have for getting your ex back is to let go of the past. You can't go back and have the same relationship. That is over. Grieve, cry, scream or do whatever you have to so you can vent your loss. Realise that if you and your ex are to have a future, it will be a new relationship. Prepare to begin anew.
Secondly, you need to sit down and think on what the problem(s) are in your relationship. Be honest with yourself. Is it really possible for the two of you to get back together? If it is a real possibility, you have work to do. The problems need to be resolved before you can start over. Accept that you have some blame in the breakup. This is hard to do if you were dumped or treated unfairly, but remember, it takes two to fight. Once your prpblems are addressed and solved, you can begin starting over.
My last tip is to be open to your ex and their feelings. Listen to each other. Really listen to what your ex is saying and where they are coming from. Try to put yourself in their shoes and look at the problem from their POV. This is a great way in learning to understand and empathize with each other. Most problems can be worked out with some work and understanding on both your parts.
After a breakup, a man's ego will suffer. If you are the man in the relationship, you can testify to losing some confidence. If you are the woman, you need to realize that your ex is feeling insecure and upset about the way things turned out. If you really want to get him back, flatter and encourage him. It sounds superficial but it works. If you accept part of the blame in the breakup, it will give him a boost. This will help you get him back.
There are many ways to get your ex back. What you need to do is really tackle your problems and resolve these issues. Don't try to change each other, but be accepting of your partners faults all. Focus on improving yourself and fixing the problems in the relationship. This is the best way in getting your ex back and starting over.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Book Review: Relationship Rescue
I recently read the book Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw PhD. The following is my review. The Dr. Phil show is very popular with helping people in confronting and solving their problems. His book is in the same POV as his show. That is, find the real problem and fix it. It's written in a very no-nonsense style that is refreshing in a sea of relationship self help books.
Relationship Rescue suggests that you receive marital or personal counseling to help you. While that is a good idea in theory, some of us can't afford or are not able to see a therapist. Dr. Phil urges couples to confront their problem(s). If the issues are ignored, then the relationship will only continue to wither away.
Dr. Phil's method teaches both partners to work on their relationship. He stresses that they need to put a lot of effort into saving their love and to expect their partner to do the same. If you believe that your partner is the reason for the problems in your relationship, Dr. Phil advises you to look at your own motives and issues.
Relationship Rescue gives the reader many questions to answer regarding their relationship and problems. It is very in depth and will help you to analyze and focus on what is wrong. This is not a quick fix. You need to be serious about this or it will fail. It will take a lot of work on both of your parts to be successful.
Relationship Rescue advocates both partners changing their POV of the relationship. It's important to be optimistic about your relationship with your partner. If you are pessimistic about your relationship, your problems will seem worse than they really are. You should focus on the good things and stay upbeat.
As on his show, Dr. Phil relates a no B.S. tactic to helping people. He's honest that this will take work if you really want to save your relationship. Dr. Phil has a proven track record with helping those in crisis and bringing them back together. This is a recommended book for those serious about avoiding a break up.
Relationship Rescue suggests that you receive marital or personal counseling to help you. While that is a good idea in theory, some of us can't afford or are not able to see a therapist. Dr. Phil urges couples to confront their problem(s). If the issues are ignored, then the relationship will only continue to wither away.
Dr. Phil's method teaches both partners to work on their relationship. He stresses that they need to put a lot of effort into saving their love and to expect their partner to do the same. If you believe that your partner is the reason for the problems in your relationship, Dr. Phil advises you to look at your own motives and issues.
Relationship Rescue gives the reader many questions to answer regarding their relationship and problems. It is very in depth and will help you to analyze and focus on what is wrong. This is not a quick fix. You need to be serious about this or it will fail. It will take a lot of work on both of your parts to be successful.
Relationship Rescue advocates both partners changing their POV of the relationship. It's important to be optimistic about your relationship with your partner. If you are pessimistic about your relationship, your problems will seem worse than they really are. You should focus on the good things and stay upbeat.
As on his show, Dr. Phil relates a no B.S. tactic to helping people. He's honest that this will take work if you really want to save your relationship. Dr. Phil has a proven track record with helping those in crisis and bringing them back together. This is a recommended book for those serious about avoiding a break up.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Recommended Books To Help With A Break Up
Some good books to read to help you with a break up:
The Magic of Making Up
The Relationship Handbook
We Love Each Other but... Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
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The Magic of Making Up
The Relationship Handbook
We Love Each Other but... Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
P6WUSNTRHC8E
Saturday, December 26, 2009
5 Easy Tips to Get Back at Your Ex
Relationships can be delicate things at times. If we don't nurture and love them, they can fall apart. Sadly, break ups happen, and they are upsetting and stressful. If you've had a break up, you may want to get back at your ex. Is this a healthy action? One of the best ways that you can get back at your ex is by letting them see how important you were to them. I've listed five tips below to do just that.
1 - Socialize. Hang out with friends. Staying home and sulking will only make you feel worse. If you're dwelling on your problems, things can appear more dire than they actually are. Spending time with old friends or making new ones is very important at this time of your life. It will give you stability and also take your mind off your ex. This solution has two benefits: it will help you and it will make your ex want you back.
2 - Limit your availability. One of the best ways of getting back at your ex is to limit talking to them. Don't cut off all lines of communication, but you shouldn't be available to them night and day. Let them see what life is like without you for awhile. You'll be surprised how well this tactic works. Taking a break has been known to work wonders. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder, as Thomas Haynes Bayly famously wrote.
3 - Stay strong. Don't be clingy. If your ex sees you as desperate, this will only make them less likely to want to be around you. Show signs of strength and confidence. Don't beg or appear weak, this is very important. Show them that you have moved on by appearing strong and put together. Once they believe you have moved on, it will make them want you back. This is a little bit of reverse psychology and it works like a charm.
4 - Be flexible. Don't be overly strict with your ex. If you show them that you are willing to be flexible, it will let them know you are trying to improve things. This is especially important if in your relationship, you were unwilling to bend a little. Never make demands or tell them they have to do something by a certain time. This never works. Flexibility is the key here. Listen to their complaints and take them seriously. Showing a new side of yourself to your ex is one of the best way of getting back at them. This will also make your ex reconsider the reasons for the break up.
5 - Be yourself. I've outlined some tips you can do to change things but don't change too much. Your ex fell in love with you for a reason. Show them that person again and make them remember the good times early in your relationship. Many times, people get back together after recalling the the reasons they fell in love. Give it a try and it should help with the break up process.
I hope these tips will work for you. When we are going through a break up, we feel completely alone. Hopefully, this will show you that you are not alone and help you on your path of dealing with a break up.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Can You Really Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Are you coping with a break up? This can be a very painful and difficult time. Your heart is broken and you want to make it better. You also have questions over why the relationship ended.
The reason your boyfriend broke up with you may have nothing to do with you. It could have been because of something going on with him. Don't blame yourself. Do a little soul searching on your own but don't take full responsibility for the break up.
If you're hoping for a reconciliation with your ex, it can take some time. It needs to be something you take seriously and are committed to. If you're willing to do this, it must be genuine and sincere. Remember to stick to these tips:
1. You may not feel attracted to other men at this point but jealousy is a powerful motivator. Flirting with other men in front of your ex may make him see how desirable you are and reconsider.
2. Don't call or text him constantly. This goes double for contacting him via facebook. It will make you look desperate and needy. This will only reinforce his belief in the break up.
3. When you do get back together, don't push him for a full committment. He may not be ready for such a big step. Take your time and enjoy being together. Keep it relaxed and casual.
If you feel that the chances of getting back together is slim, then you need to continue on with your own journey.
A good therapeutic exercise is to write your feelings down in a letter or journal entry. You can share your anger, sadness or memories as a way of resolving things. Then after you have poured out your feelings, burn the letter. I know it sounds silly, but it works.
Break ups are always painful. Remember that this isn't the end of everything. You are now embarking on a new chapter of your life. Try to be positive during this time and let go of all the negative feelings from the break up.
Even though you have gone through a break up doesn't mean it's completely over. If you believe there is a possibility of getting back together, then you should absolutely go for it.
If you're looking for a genuine steps you can take to get your ex back, I recommend this book.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Get Your Ex Back Without Playing Games

After you've been dumped, everyone has advice on how to get your ex back. There are plans for playing games just to get back at your ex. If you are really serious about reconciling, renewing a relationship based on game playing will not work. You need to be sincere or it will blow up in your face.
Try to keep communication open. Don't text or phone your ex daily, but once a week is ok. Keep it casual and civil. Also, remember important days like holidays and birthdays. It lets your ex know that you still care enough to remember them on special days. Email is another good way to stay connected, just keep it casual. If you forward jokes or youtube videos to your friends and family, include your ex on that list. It's a low key way to stay on your their radar. You want to appear relaxed and friendly through your emails.
Socializing is important during this time but you need to decide if you want to date others. If you are serious about getting back together with your ex, it's advisable to stay clear of dating. Jealousy can be powerful but it can also backfire. Don't sleep with anyone else. You may be lonely but one night stands are not the answer.
If your ex is seeing other people, you need to respect that. They ended the relationship so they can date anyone they choose. Pay attention to who they are dating. It can reveal to you what your ex is seeking in a mate. As you reflect on what your ex is looking for, it will help you get them back. Think on what your ex says and does. Sometimes people say one thing and do another. Pay close attention to what is going on.
Now that the two of you are no longer a couple, the relationship has changed. Approach it with caution. If you pour out your feelings and beg your ex for forgiveness or just to come back, you look weak. Give it some distance and appear strong. If you give your ex all the power in the relationship, you'll be seen as a doormat. You need to regain some confidence in order for the reconciliation to take place.
Put yourself first. Think on what is good for YOU. Self improvement during this time is very important. Pay attention to your appearance. Also, remember to address your state of mind. Stay positive and encouraged. If you become depressed, reflect on the good things in your life. You want to appear as confident and attractive to your ex as you can.
Playing mind games with your ex is not the answer to a successful reconciliation. You need to address and fix the problems that caused the break up in the first place. That's the only way to truly get your ex back.

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